Some Post-Mother's Day Reflections

Six months of being a mother has changed my life.  I know that Mother’s Day is a time to recognize, celebrate and appreciate mothers but thinking about my first Mother’s Day, I am just so thankful that I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a mom.  I’m sure any mother would agree that you don’t care and love for your children for the recognition – you do it because of the most powerful type of love you can experience. Evie won’t know how much I love her for a long time  – just as I never understood how much my own mother loves me until I had a daughter of my own.

Me and Evie at Mother's Day brunch

Life as a mom has been so amazing and rewarding so far – and I know that all the experienced mom’s out there are probably saying things like “just wait until she’s a teenager”, and “you haven’t experienced anything yet”.  I know I’m still a rookie mom and that I have many more experiences ahead, but one thing I tell myself almost every day still (in challenging times and good times) is that Evie will never be this young again and her current behaviours will most definitely pass when the next phase of growth/development hits – this is something that I’m sure I’ll continue to repeat in the years to come and it allows me to savour the good times and get through the tough ones. 

When I was planning/trying to get pregnant and for the 9 months leading up to Evie’s birth, everything on my mind was babies, babies, babies….I’m sure that many first time moms would relate.  Now that Evie is here – a real human being who depends completely on me and Craig – my perspectives have changed.  She is going to learn to walk, to talk, to feel, to give – She is going to become a toddler, a little girl, a teenager, and finally an adult.  I spent so many hours worrying about whether I would be able to care for a baby properly, but now that I am here and managing okay, I realize that the really hard part will be bringing up a little girl to be a caring and contributing member of our society.  Realizing that as a parent, I will have to let her go, discover things on her own and learn from her mistakes while still protecting her from things that may harm her – a difficult balance I am sure. 

I don’t feel like I have been overly emotional since having a baby, but there are definitely some feelings that rise to the surface much more strongly now than before.  First, there is sometimes an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  For example, when I am driving (especially on high-speed highways), I often think now about the potential of an accident with Evie in the car.  Come to think of it, I think of this when she’s not in the car.  It’s not like I’m a reckless driver or I didn’t value my life before I had a baby, but the sense of responsibility is just so much greater with a child – there is just so much more on the line and sometimes the responsibility is a little overwhelming.  I also have much more empathy for parents experiencing tough times.  Again, it’s not like stories of child loss didn’t make me sad before having a baby, but hearing those stories of the little boy who wandered out into the cold this past winter in Toronto, and the two children who died after being accidentally poisoned with a gas intended for bed bugs just tore at my heart – I cannot imagine what those parents must be going through and how terrible it would be to lose a child. 

All that thinking aside though, I know it is important to “be in the moment” and truly appreciate the life you have right now – so this mother’s day, I would like to celebrate all of the aspects of motherhood that I have enjoyed and appreciated over the past six months:

-          Evie’s first real smiles and laughs – There is no better feeling than bringing joy to your baby.  One of my good friends Ang told me once “now we just do things that make Ben (1 year old) happy”, and I can totally relate.  Our activities may not involve scrambling up mountains or skiing black diamond runs anytime soon, but there is a new reward in seeing your child experience happiness (Don’t get me wrong though – Evie will still be getting lots of fresh outdoor air!)

-          The ability to comfort and calm my baby: Holding other people’s babies is just not the same as your own. Over the past couple weeks, a few of my good friends have had new babies and it’s funny how awkward it feels to hold a teeny baby even though I just had one of my own not too long ago.  It is a great feeling to know that your baby will stop crying when you pick them up, and that just knowing you are there is often enough to comfort them.

-          My own health: I have always valued health a great deal, but now it is even more important to me.  I know that by making time for my own health, I am able to be a better mother and will be able to take better care of Evie now and in the future.  For me, running is my favorite way to stay in shape, and I am thankful that I can still do it after pregnancy and childbirth.  It is amazing how much mental and physical release even a half-hour run can provide – after a long day of taking care of the baby, I can go for a run and when I come back I am glad to see Evie and have renewed energy to care for her.

-          Watching my husband become a father (and not just a ‘dog-father’ J)”: Craig has been so supportive of me during these first six months, and so loving of his little girl.  I’ve always known that he would make a great dad, but it is so great to see how much he loves Evie.  Over the past couple months, I can tell that she is really starting to love him too – She smiles when he comes home and loves when he plays games with her, and I know that her love for him will continue to grow now that she has more interests than just breastfeeding 24 hours a day (at least it felt like that for the first couple months).

-          Breastfeeding: I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, but before doing it I thought of it more like another baby-care task that I had to do to give my baby the best start.  Though it is the optimal source of nutrition for babies under six months (that’s the RD in me speaking) – it is so much more.  The bond that it has created between Evie and me is so strong and the content look on her face when she is feeding still melt my heart (probably the effect of the oxytocin being released when you nurse too).  By 3 months or so, Evie was really efficient at feeding – It’s rare that her feeds last longer than 5-10 minutes. When she got to this point, I realized that I actually missed the 30-40 minute feeds that she’d have when she was little.   Those times really forced you to sit and focus only on your baby (I am the type of person who has a hard time with sitting and relaxing for too long).  I never thought I'd be the type to say this, but I think I'll be very sad when Evie is fully weaned.

-          The social connections I have made with other moms: There are certain times in your life when it is easier to make new friends and I think that becoming a parent is definitely one of them.  Whether it be connecting more with friends from afar, becoming closer with people I didn’t know so well, or meeting completely new friends – I am so grateful for the multiple mothers who I have been able to connect with over the last little while.  There are so many people I can turn to when I have questions and I am so very thankful for all the social support I’ve had this year.  Our social get-togethers are definitely a bit different now that we have to be conscious of sleep-schedules, meal-times, and baby-friendly environments – but that is a change that I’m okay with!

-          My mother – Finally, I am thankful for my amazing mom Faye.  She is the most selfless person I know, and even in her retirement years when both her daughters have left home and moved away, she continues to care for so many people (from children up to the elderly) in her community.  I continue to reflect back on how she raised me and hope to incorporate much of her wisdom into my new role as a parent.   

Happy (belated) mother’s day to all the amazing moms out there – You know better than anyone how to love and care for your child no matter what stage of life they are in!

We had a great Mother’s Day as a family – Ate breakfast and had a relaxing morning at home and then headed to the Calgary Zoo for the Mother’s Day brunch and to visit some of the animals. Thanks Craig!

Evie has been doing great over the last couple weeks.  She continues to enjoy meal-times (surprise, surprise – one thing that my chubby baby is good at is eating J) and she also cut her first two teeth (bottom middle) just after turning six months.  I was pretty happy that they just kind of appeared one day without any hugely obvious discomfort (it was also around the time of her six month vaccinations, so I just attributed the crankiness to that).

Here are a recent pictures:

Checking out the giraffes at the zoo on Mother's Day

Enjoying her waffle at brunch

Playing with her "bowl" of toys (I read somewhere that babies this age like to take toys out of containers, so thought I'd give this a shot)

Meeting her future vacation buddy Jet :)  He is such a sweetie (2 weeks old)

Looking for cats and squirrels, like Ruby taught her (not really....but I'm sure one day she will be)

Picnic and hike out near Bragg Creek in Kananaskis

Hanging out by the Elbow River after our hike

It was a challenge to keep her from trying to eat all these rocks

Hike around Fullerton Loop

All tuckered out (you know, from all the hill climbing she did)

Playing with her toys

Out for a city hike at Nose Hill Park

Eating her veggie frittata  - She really enjoyed this frittata, packed with zucchini, mushrooms, spinach and tomatoes.  She is getting better at eating and we are definitely seeing improvement in her ability to manipulate food with her hands and fingers.

Family pic at the Mother's Day brunch buffet