Welcoming Juliet in the time of COVID-19

It's been a little over a week since we brought Juliet Elise home from the hospital. While our world looks very different these days and preparing to bring a baby in during the time of COVID-19 has brought some uncertainty and a bit of anxiety, I couldn't feel more lucky to have a third little girl who is healthy and so loved in our home (and from a physical distance by all her other family members). Here is the story of her birth and a glimpse into our isolation experience over the past couple months.

Juliet Elise - born at 5:12pm on May 10th, weighing 7lbs 7 oz. The nurses loved her little mask handmade by Daddy.

I'm writing this blog with a sweet little newborn sleeping on my chest - soaking up these sleepy cuddles as much as I can, since I know they won't last long and Juliet has completed our family. It is hard to believe that only 10 days has passed since I wrapped up my job - the arrival of a new baby really does change your life overnight.

Preparing for a baby during the pandemic has been very interesting. It is hard to predict any part of our lives right now, and I am definitely a person who thrives on advance planning - so the uncertainty has been a bit challenging. I was about 33 weeks pregnant in mid-March when the social distancing measures came into full force here in Alberta.  For both Craig and I, as employees of Alberta Health Services (AHS), this meant pretty significant changes to the pace and focus of our work. Working at the Rocky View Hospital in Infection Prevention, Craig was the most busy he's ever been at work (not surprising) - long hours at the hospital during the day, usually missing dinner, walking the dogs and getting kids to bed and then more work from home at night was his normal for about 6 weeks in March and April.  Luckily, as new processes and policies were rolled out, his work has become a bit more sane in the last month - still busy, but a bit more sustainable in terms of work-life balance.

My work looked a little different. While my team focuses specifically school health promotion (normally), we are part of the broader provincial population and public health department within AHS. Our whole area was re-assigned to support various aspects of the pandemic response--some staff working at assessment centres across the province, others doing patient screenings at acute care sites, and a large chunk of our staff being assigned to set up and staff a new call centre to extend the capacity of our provincial HealthLink service. My role was a bit more indirect, as my doctor had recommended as much self-isolation as possible prior to delivery (as being sick or having symptoms would result in some changes in the delivery protocol in terms of having to wear PPE and allowances for having a support person). So I was working to support operations associated with our pandemic redeployments - ensuring we were upholding all our applicable collective agreements, re-designing our payroll processes to reflect that fact that all our staff were basically transitioned to shift workers overnight, monitoring budgets and adhering to new financial reporting requirements established during the pandemic.  Definitely a very different type of work, but there was a lot of process development and problem solving needed, so my days working from home flew by with ongoing Skype meetings, designs of new spreadsheets, and trying to plan for my transition to maternity leave. 

Craig and I feel extremely lucky to have our jobs during this time, and I am inspired by the people who work with our organization and proud of the way AHS has been able to come together to support the pandemic efforts.  All of our roles look different, but the staff I work directly with have been so willing to shift gears and take on work that is sometimes outside their comfort zone and definitely not what they originally signed up for.  Alberta moved to one provincial health authority in 2009 (which is when I started my career and my time with AHS), and while there have been lots of bumps during the transition, I think that our model has really helped to mobilize a strong and consistent response across the province.

Of course, school was cancelled so, as was the case for all families, that added a new change to our routine and home dynamics as well.  I honestly have no idea how parents are both working from home and watching their children simultaneously - We were really lucky that when schools closed, our day home provider for Lucy was also able to take Evelyn (which Evie was super excited about). It wasn't really possible for Craig to work from home, and I would not have been able to get through my work days otherwise (without endless hours of screen time). So both girls have continued to attend their awesome dayhome - getting to go on bike rides, bake together, build bird feeders, make endless crafts to bring home for our art wall,  make forts, and have lots of wrestling matches - much more fun than they'd have at home with me, headset on and in front of a computer screen. 

Our last "social gathering" before social distancing measures came into place was Lucy's birthday (literally, we had this over lunch time on the same Sunday when school closures were announced at 5pm). We were lucky to be able to fit this in, and Lucy was very excited to turn three and celebrate with her friends at at her Teddy Bear picnic party.

Pinatas are always a hit (also somewhat hazardous with this age of kids - hence the "stand behind the ottoman" rule)

Make a wish!

Takes a lot of practice to be able to hold up those fingers properly :) 

Love this unique little girl so much

Day home has been great for keeping up a bit of a routine for our family, but the fact that our kids are out of the home most of the day has made it next to impossible to keep up with the homeschooling assignments. This will loosen up a little more now that I'm off work, but during the last couple months, we only really have the kids at home between 5pm-7pm on weekdays - fitting in dinner, bath, bedtime routines and homework at the end of the day (when fatigue is high and attention spans are low) is far from ideal. Personally, it also doesn't jive with my thoughts about child development to ask Evelyn to come inside and do homework if she is happily playing outside and actually getting along with Lucy.

For the most part, I'd say both our kids are pretty happy being home and spending lots of time with our family - and home school is likely our top source of stress right now (for both Evelyn and I!).  She has said things like "This work is more fun to do at school", when completing her assigned worksheets, and I can't argue with that. With kids this age, they learn by doing and by being with other people and talking about things, and I don't think that online videos and parents can replace the social experience of a classroom. Some of the activities that are more open-ended  or more experiential--we've had some fun with nature walks, building structures from recyclables, and scavenger hunts.  Half the battle is won because I don't have to refer to these activities as "school" or "homework" - but it is not so easy to disguise a worksheet or a very specific assignment to draw a picture of yourself doing X.  I know I'm not alone in this boat, as I've heard similar stories from other parents and I know it can't be easy for teachers to try to deliver their curriculum (especially too kindergartners) in this way.  As a student, I was never one to miss an assignment deadline or put in half effort - so I think that is maybe why I'm struggling a bit with the fact that as a parent, I am not keeping up with home school.

Our homework area....does anyone else's dining room look like this on a daily basis???

Homework at it's finest

COVID-time home...tons of artwork, constant toy explosions, old dog leash on floor that Evie is always trying to convince Lucy to "go for a walk" on.  Itdoesn't matter how hard I try to keep things in the basement playroom, they all migrate upstairs,

What all your boxes of Kleenex end up looking like with a three year old...

Building a "junk" tower...Turned into quite the project in our house, but was probably one of our more successful and enjoyable homework assignments

The other layer of homework that adds a bit of complexity is that Lucy also wants to be included in the assignments - so we've started printing two sets of everything and including her as much as we can :) 

I know my kids are happy though, and generally doing things that promote their health, well-being and development--we bake, we do way more crafts than I have space to keep, we are working on their cleaning skills, we spend lots of time outside--so my goals as the school year wraps up and we move into summer (and fall) will be to provide natural opportunities for learning and development that fit within our lives and keep ALL of us healthy - mentally and physically.

Our fun during COVID:

Lucy serving me some "dirt soup"

Out for a walk at Fish Creek Provincial Park (super lucky to have this spot only 1 km from our house)

Family selfie

Another favourite activity is building "cozy spots" - basically involves moving all pillows/blankets/ridiculously large stuffed unicorns into one place and setting up an enclosure

Backyard fun

Making window art

Somehow in the process of window painting, Lucy managed to drop an entire cup of paint on the floor and splash it all over her face and from the floor to the ceiling...all within the first 5 minutes of the activity

Leave it to Craig to find a company that delivers dry ice to your door during a pandemic

Making cork boats to help their Hatchimals float around (fun activity if anyone just happens to have any wine corks lying around...)

Easter crafting - Also, if your kids ever ask to give pom poms "haircuts", say no (unless you want pom pom fibres all over the place)

Making peanut butter cookies - baking is a definite favourite activity in our house

Mixing our puffy paint (shaving cream, glue, food colouring)

Creations with puffy paint

Maybe a bit excessive on the bubble bath

Finding our own natural playgrounds

Reading hammock under the table

Craig showing the kids how to burn wood with a magnifying glass....good skill for 3 and 5 year olds right?

With all that's being happening with COVID-19, I have to admit that preparing for the arrival of a baby was not as front-of-mind as it was with the other two. I am lucky that my pregnancy was healthy and I was generally feeling well the entire time (Craig will argue that I complained constantly at the end, but he doesn't know what those last few weeks are like with all your joints expanding and baby pushing on your cervix/ribs/pelvis etc).  As  I mentioned earlier, it was recommended that I stay as isolated as possible to reduce the likelihood of having any sort of illness or symptoms during delivery. COVID or not, any symptoms would result in having to mask during the delivery and there was also a time when they were limiting the support person you were allowed to have (though by the time I delivered, this was changed). My doctor's appointments were reduced in frequency and moved to phone calls until the very end as well. 

As if we weren't busy enough with work, we also decided to push and get a small renovation done pre-baby. We had started to plan this around Christmas, and wanted to replace our upstairs carpet before doing the nursery. We'd chosen the carpet back in January, but also decided that before doing carpet we would replace the silver/metal stair railing so the carpet could be installed around something we liked a bit more. Originally we were going to hire a contractor to do this work, which became a challenge once COVID hit....so it turned into a DIY project for Craig. While the physical work didn't take too long, figuring out all the angles and cuts for the posts and stair rail took some recall back to high school trigonometry.  At one point, Craig was at the dining room table using a protractor (I didn't even know we owned a protractor :). Anyway - after a couple weekends of work and only one extra trip to Windsor plywood for an additional piece for the railing, the railing was done and we were able to get the carpet installed as well.  We finally finished up the nursery when I was about 38 weeks (I think Evelyn's nursery was probably done when I was about 4 months pregnant :).  It was also about that time that I threw some things together in a hospital bag and considered myself ready.

I don't really have a great picture - but this shows the stair rail and upstairs carpet before

Work in progress

Work in progress

The completed stair rail before carpet went in

The nursery about 2 weeks before our due date...

Nursery for baby #3, complete with new carpet that really changes the whole upper level (definitely should have just done it when we first moved in before all our furniture was in place!)

Craig made the change table topper (the weekend before Juliet arrived) as well as the mountains above the crib

 

"Bad dogs" who were locked in their cage (by their own choosing) - Later this night (after putting the kids to sleep in their own rooms), we came upstairs to find Evelyn with all her pillows and blankets sleeping under the crib.  Kids are strange.

My due date was May 14th, but I was definitely feeling like the baby would arrive earlier - based on both the way my body was feeling (huge and tired!) and because Evelyn and Lucy were both a bit early (by one week and 2 days).  I did manage to work up until my last planned day prior to leave - which was May 8th, and by that point, I was pretty much convinced that I was on the brink of labour at any time, telling Craig to make sure his phone was on as I felt like it was coming! Knowing how quick my labour was with Lucy (5 hours start to finish), I wanted to be ready when the time came.

39 weeks pregnant - 3 days before the baby arrived

On Sunday May 10, I woke up around 5am because of some light contractions. They were mild and pretty irregular, but I definitely knew they were contractions. I told Craig to get the kids ready and texted our day home provider (Lisa) who had already agreed to help us out when the time came. I was sure that within a couple hours we'd be headed to the hospital.

I started timing contractions and they got somewhat more regular, but never more than about 45 seconds long or 4-5 minutes apart, and sometimes they would completely stop for 30-45 minutes. 

Not sure how well this app will be rated if they are asking this question while the user is timing active contractions...Definitely a "not now!" response from me

Time kept passing, and I then started to wonder if it was going to happen or not.  As things weren't progressing, we kind of just went on with our day.  Evelyn and Lucy gave me some lovely Mother's day gifts, Craig took the dogs for a walk, I chatted on FaceTime with my mom and sister, the girls and I made unicorn slime together, and then we baked cupcakes.  I was still having infrequent contractions, and just explained to the girls that I needed to take some deep breaths and a break every so often (a very different labour experience than the first time around :).  Eventually, Craig decided to get the girls out of the house and explore a nearby bike park.  Of course, that is when things started to happen!

Baking some Mother's Day cupcakes (Evie's idea...)

They headed to the bike park around 2pm, and it was just around that time that contractions started to become a little more regular. I wasn't too alarmed as they were still 6-7 minutes apart, but then around 2:45 pm, my water broke (my first time having that happen naturally) and I swear the contractions were 3 minutes apart almost instantly and significantly more painful (no walking or talking through them).  I texted Craig "Come home. My water broke"- so he got home as quickly as possible (after having to do some coaxing with the girls to get them out of the bike park). I let Lisa know too, and she came right over to get the kids just as Craig was getting home with them. They left excited that the baby was on its way, with their arms filled with their favourite blankets, pillows, stuffies and cupcakes. 

Biking at the Fish Creek Mountain Bike skills park (about 3 hours before Juliet was born). This was the first time we visited this place, and we have been back several times since. Both Evelyn and Lucy love it.


Craig and I left for the hospital and arrived around 3:45. By this point, the contractions were very frequent and painful and I was eager to have Craig push me in from the parking lot in a wheelchair. I rode the wheelchair backwards on my knees and probably looked like a crazy person - It is an interesting journey into the hospital when you are experiencing contractions though. I just remember having my eyes closed and being more or less oblivious to anything around me (including I'm sure many stares from others in the lobby). They didn't make us stop for screening at the door and just waved us to head up to the Labour and Delivery ward. I delivered at the hospital where Craig works - so he had a good idea of where we were headed and got us there quickly (even though I've delivered all babies at this hospital, I'm still not sure I could find the right floor given the state of mind I've been in upon arrival each time).

The floor was quiet and we were triaged very quickly, which was good. When they checked me in the triage room, I was 5 cm dilated and by the time I was moved to the L&D room (about 15 minutes later), I was 9 cm dilated.  Definitely good we got to the hospital when we did.  I had requested an epidural pretty much immediately when I got to the hospital (hard to pass up that relief after you know what it feels like :), so prepping for that offered a minor distraction through contractions.  From about 4:30-5:00 pm, I "enjoyed" the epidural--It did help, but  definitely not as much as in the past - possibly because I was so far along.  The contractions were a bit more manageable though and it gave me a bit of time to (literally) catch my breath before delivery.

By 5pm, the pressure coming from contractions was very strong, the baby had moved pretty far down, and it was time to meet her. It took all of 4 minutes of pushing through 2 contractions to pop Juliet out and, to be honest, was the easiest part of that afternoon - guess that's how it goes with a third baby or maybe it's the fact that her big sister Lucy was almost a pound bigger when she was born :). Also interesting/random, was that the doctor who delivered her was named Ellen Ruth Boyd (my name is also Ellen Ruth). It was an intense couple hours, but the outcome was amazing.

Meeting Juliet

Nice full cheeks on this one

The baby mask that Craig made was quite the hit with L&D staff....Juliet may have her photo posted on the wall there :) 

Juliet Elise arrived calm and quiet at 5:12pm, weighing in at 7lbs 7oz - a wonderful Mother's Day gift (or maybe not if it means I am destined to now plan children's birthday parties on Mother's Day weekends!). We had a lot of skin-to-skin time and did our first feed almost right away.  By 6:30, we'd moved to the postpartum recovery room where I'd spend the night with Juliet.  Aside from all hospital staff as well as Craig having to mask and wear appropriate PPE, the hospital experience was very similar to my previous deliveries. The staff were all very supportive, welcoming, and happy and made for a great experience both during labour and delivery and the recovery period. My night in the hospital was as expected - neither terrible nor enjoyable. I was lucky to have a private room, but it is always tough sleeping in hospitals. Plastic-feeling beds and pillows are not the most comfortable resting place after you've just delivered a baby (and it also takes a while to come down from the adrenaline rush of labour and delivery). So while Juliet slept decently well, I mostly just tossed and turned in between feeds until the sun came up.

Craig headed home from the hospital at 8pm to bring Evelyn and Lucy home for the night--they were apparently disappointed that their new baby sister wasn't home that night (and Lucy was upset that I wasn't home), but they got over it with some stories and songs from Daddy. One upside of COVID-19 is that they are discharging patients more quickly than usual, so we were able to leave the next morning and were home by 11:30 am, which was great and overall a huge relief to be back in our own space, with another healthy child, and through the hospital in the midst of a pandemic.

A few pictures from our first day in the hospital

Ready to head home to meet her siblings

Our first week at home has overall gone well. I've had some minor issues recovering and there have been some sibling adjustments, but Juliet is a pretty sweet baby who is easy to please.

For about 5 days following our discharge, I had this ongoing headache and ringing in my ears as well as some vertigo - apparently a side effect of an epidural called a spinal headache that is caused by a leak in the cerebral spinal fluid (and resultant decrease in pressure). It wasn't all that painful, but more just annoying.  Dogs barking and kids screaming are not necessarily the greatest remedy for ringing ears! As well, the main recommendation from my doctor was to lie down as much as possible - again, not all that easy to adhere to - but thankfully Craig is working from home for two weeks and Evelyn and Lucy are still attending their dayhome for the month of May. Anyway - I was not feeling the greatest last week, but it all seems to have resolved over the weekend and overall I'm feeling pretty much back to normal 10 days in.

Both Evelyn and Lucy have been pretty excited to welcome Juliet into our home, though Evie has since let me know that she thought babies would be "more fun" and that she doesn't want to ever have babies because it's too much work to get them out :). Overall though, she has been very helpful to me and is fairly reliable holding Juliet and listening to instructions about staying sitting down and telling us when she is done. It is very sweet to see them together. She is really proud to tell others about the baby and that she is a big sister, and allowed/able to hold Juliet on her own. She's also a bit more understanding and patient about having to "share" her mom with another child and actually listens to me when I explain that I need a bit more time for rest and recovery.  She is already a great big sister to Juliet.

Lucy is probably the most confident three year old "mom" I've ever known - always checking on Juliet and telling me what she needs (not always accurately...but there is no point arguing with her). She is always asking where the baby is is, and saying "Can I have the baby", "I want the baby". She likes holding her, but is usually done after about 15 seconds. She is always hugging her (sometimes aggressively) and tries to soothe her when she calms down. During the day, she is very loving but its a different story at night. Lucy enforces a strict "no baby in my bedroom" rule when it comes time for her stories and songs, and she also wants me to always be the one in there singing. So bedtime has been a bit of a balancing act, with Craig and I switching back and forth between bedrooms, and passing off Juliet depending on which bedroom we are needed in/who needs to be fed/tickled/read to/sang to etc.... Luckily, Evelyn is fine with Juliet being in her room. Lucy also still wakes up in the night, usually demanding tickles from mommy (and she kicks Craig out if he attempts to replace me). She is more emotionally exhausting in the night than Juliet I'd say...but I'm sure she'll adjust with a bit more time.  She did say to me "If you be really nice to me, then maybe baby can come in my room"...so perhaps there is some hope with our little negotiator.

Bringing Juliet a toy she'd picked for her

Juliet is very content so far - eating lots (also throwing up a fair amount like Evelyn did in her early days) and sleeping probably the best of any of my babies at this point - she has generally been sleeping 2-3 hour stretches through the night...So I can't complain at all as I've been getting a pretty good amount of sleep most nights. Hopefully a pattern that lasts, though it is still early days. She is pretty happy to eat, snuggle and snooze all day long - so I'm enjoying my quiet days with her while the older kids are still out of the house. While my back is getting sore, I plan on holding her as much as possible. She completes our family of three little girls, and I know that the days I can have a sleeping newborn on my chest will be replaced with an energetic toddler before I know it :)

Doing what she does best

You quickly forget how many diapers a newborn goes through....and the laundry these tiny people create!

Starting to open her eyes a little more

Love the "baby burrito" stage

Most people agree that Juliet (left) looks a lot like Evelyn (top right), which is also what Craig and I thought when we first saw her. They both also look very similar to my baby pics. Lucy has a little more of Craig's features I'd say. Juliet has the most hair of all our babies - hopefully it sticks around!

We are so lucky to have these three little girls who are happy and healthy.  While each stage comes with its own set of challenges, the joy they bring to our lives far outweighs any of the sleepless nights, constant messes, and emotional meltdowns that always pass and are quickly forgotten with moments like these:

These are just our own pics, but taken after we had our newborn photos done at home (stay tuned for those) - hence why we look somewhat presentable :)  Can't wait until I have three little girls requesting "braids and curls" in the morning...may have to give Craig some hair styling lessons!

If you made it this far - thanks for listening to my story - hopefully I can find a bit more time to revive the blog over the next 16 months of being home with my girls (and our only boy, Hudson :)